Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize
by StarsAreAMetaphor
Summary: A series of events in Noah "Puck" Puckerman's life when he should have apologized and not just said he was sorry. It will start when he is a child and continue until he is an adult on his wedding day.
1. Prologue

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize**

Sorry.

He hates that fucking word.

It was so easy to say and means jack shit.

Sorry was what you say to the jackoff who bumps into you in the hallway at school.

Sorry is what your asshat of a father says before he walks out on your Mom.

Sorry is what your Mom says when you beg for karate classes.

Sorry is what you say to your Mom when you get your first detention.

Sorry is what the cops say to your Mom when they put you in the back of the squad car.

Sorry is what your first cougar says after her husband gives you a black eye.

Sorry is what you say to the drunk cheerleader you fucked who ends up pregnant.

Sorry is what you say to your former best friend when he finds out you're the babydaddy.

Sorry is what you say to your daughter on the day she is born when you hold her for the first and last time.

Sorry.

He still hates that fucking word. So why the fuck does he keep saying it? Because he's a fucking Lima loser.

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**_A/N: This is going to be a series of interconnected oneshots based on events in Noah Puckerman's life when he should have apologized. (This is not related to the Patience series)_**


	2. Chapter 1

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Noah is 5**

**Rating: G - Noah is just five and hasn't learned how to cuss, yet.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Or Mark Salling. I can dream can't I?**

Standing at the courthouse, waiting for his fiancee Noah Puckerman has time to think. He is trying to remember what events and people brought him to this day - his wedding day. There are so many things in his life that have made him the man he his - good and bad. One constant throughout his life has been his mother's words "Noah, saying your sorry is too easy. It has no soul or meaning because people say it every day and don't really mean it. When you mean it you apologize. Do you understand? Apologize."

Noah is about five when things start to go south for his parents. He remembers being woken up by the yelling of his father and the crying of his mother. He doesn't remember what they're saying but the sound that he hears after the yelling will always be there. The noise of a hand hitting flesh, his mother's face he finds out, is something he won't forget. A few moments later he hears his father's pleading voice begging the woman to forgive his angry outburst.

"I'm sorry, Rho! I'm so sorry. Please, don't take my son from me. I'm begging you!"

He remembers that his mother replies but not the words because he's so shocked that his mother wants to run away. Kids are the ones who are supposed to do that, not grown ups. Why would Ma want to take him and run away from Da? He had just started kindergarten a few weeks before and had finally been able to climb to the top of the jungle gym. He was friends with a goofy kid name Finn who would eat anything he told him to. He did not want to run away even though he loves his Ma very much.

The next day he's walking with his class down to the lunchroom when a girl from another class runs into him. He just glares at her with her stupid long black hair in braids and her stupid chocolate brown eyes.

He just says "Sorry." and keeps walking with the other kids. His stomach feels weird when he's eating his lunch because he remember what his Ma says. After lunch when the other kids are outside on the playground he writes her a note with his crayons that says I POLERJIZE. He puts it in her cubby outside her classroom then goes outside because Finn said he was going to eat a worm if he got a dollar. He loves rainy days!

When they're all running for the bus she walks up to him with the note. "Thank you, Noah." she says and gives him a hug. He blushes as he replies "You're welcome, um? '' "Santana. My name is Santana."

When he gets home from school he's happy because he did the right thing and he sees his Da is there and Ma is there is they're kissing. This tells him that Ma isn't leaving Lima so he can still climb the jungle gym and keep playing with Finn. Tomorrow he's gonna make him eat a cricket.

**_A/N: Please take a moment to read and review. It's what us writers live on! Thank you._**


	3. Chapter 2

Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 2

Rating: PG - Puck is still a kid, so just one cuss word

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay.

A/N: Thank you to my tweeple - knkykty, GoingVintage,2looney, Katertots, livinginrhythm and cleanslate. You're all awesome and you make me want to do better.

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Puck is nine when things get really bad at his house. His parents yell at each other when they think he's asleep but he's really just pretending. Then they pretend things are okay when they eat breakfast together and even kiss each other good bye but the part he hates the most is that they make sure he's watching. He knows that they're big liars and totally faking so he balls up his fists until his knuckles turn white. When he goes upstairs to get ready for school he punches holes in his closet walls to calm himself down.

His mom walks him to school and explains that his father is going out of town for work for a few weeks but he'll be back in plenty of time for Noah's birthday. He's going to be ten and that's double digits so it's a big deal. His Mom said that Finn and two other kids can sleep over and he thinks that is pretty sweet. He has been begging his Mom for months to let him take karate lessons because that's what ten year olds do - they break boards and yell and can defend themselves. She keeps saying that she'll ask his Dad but she never does. She keeps talking quietly on the phone when he's in the living room playing on his PS2. He can't hear what she's saying but he knows she's sad and she cries when she's making his dinner. She doesn't think he hears but just like the yelling he pretends and sits very still.

It's a week before his birthday and his Dad still isn't back. His Mom looks weird because she's gained weight and people keep congratulating her on the new addition and he doesn't understand what they mean. He gets mad when Finn's Mom tousles his hair and asks him if he's excited about being a big brother soon. He swats her hand away and says he's going home because she's wrong because there isn't any stupid baby coming to his house.

He runs all the way home to see that his Dad's truck is there but it's all packed with his stuff. His Mom is standing in the garage bawling her head off while she's hugging her big belly. He thinks that Mrs. Hudson might be right, there just might be a baby in there.

"You can't leave us, Isaac! Noah and I need you and your daughter will need you too."

Both of his parents see him standing there with his mouth open wide enough to catch a bug and eyes so big you could fall right into them. They look like they've done something really wrong so he yells at them so they know how stupid they're being.

"Why didn't you tell me about the stupid baby? Huh? You're both just big liars. Kids have to tell the truth but grown ups can just be stupid liars." he yells.

He shoves past them to run up to his room, slamming the door so hard it shakes the frame. He can hear is parents running up the stars after him and he's glad he locked his door.

His Mom bangs on the door as his Dad yells that he's going to get his toolbox to take it off its hinges. He doesn't care because they're stupid and selfish and liars. He lays on the floor and kicks the door over and over again and doesn't care when his Dad finally does take the door off and stands there with an angry look on his face.

"You can't go! I want to take karate lessons. I want to learn how to use the lawn mower and only you know how to use it."

His Mom his bawling again and he can hardly understand what she's saying.

"I'm sorry, Noah. Your father has made up his mind that he's leaving. I'm so, so, sorry Noah."

When he finally figures out what she said he gets up quickly and starts pounding his fists into his Dad's chest.

"You're an asshole! You can't leave your family. What's wrong with you? You can leave us!"

"I'm sorry Noah. I have to leave. I'm going to Michigan to work and I'll send money to you and your Mom as soon as I can."

His father doesn't come back and he doesn't care. He has a new baby sister now so he learns how to use the lawnmower and earns enough money to give some to his Mom to buy diapers. He's the man of the house now and that's what real men do, they take care of their family.

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_**A/N: **_**Please take a moment to comment/review. It's what writers live for! **


	4. Chapter 3

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 3  
**

**Rating: PG - Puck is still a kid, so just two cuss words. Maybe three.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: Thank you to knkykty for being a great Beta Babe and being a great listener. You rock my mismatched socks off! **

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He just turned thirteen and he's still the man of the house. His stupid-ass father still hasn't come back even though he promised to be there for the bar mitzvah. Asshole. He got a stupid paper route so he could help pay for it since his Mom works a lot and babies are expensive. Chaya isn't really a baby since she's four, but she's a pain like one. She breaks into his room and jumps on his bed and throws stuff around and his Mom yells at him for having a messy room. He loves his sister but she really pisses him off when he yells at her for stuff she's done and she starts to cry and his Mom yells at him.

He's mad when he goes to school and he finds out his sister has colored all over his homework. His teacher doesn't believe him even when the English essay with a pink kitten drawn on it is slapped on the big desk at the front of the classroom. When he tells his teacher that he's an asshole he gets sent to the principal's office and gets a detention. He knows that when his mother comes to get him he's going to get in more trouble than he's ever been in. She's gonna take everything away and he's gonna be Amish for a month. Or two. Shit.

She talks to the principal and apologizes for him. The principal understands that she's a single Mom trying to do her best for her children but detention is better than the expulsion he could have gotten. She glares at him and is silent on the ride home. He's really scared because she's never quiet. He's scared because he's going to be grounded forever and she might just make him sleep in the basement where it's dark and he knows that he's seen rats.

When they get home she sits him down at the dinner table and before she can start talking she is crying so hard he can't understand her. He starts to feel bad but then remembers she always tells him to tell the truth. His teacher was an asshole so it's not like he's lying. After what feels like forever he cracks and keeps saying that he's sorry. She stops, then gets all red-faced and starts yelling at him.

"Don't you dare say 'sorry' to me Noah Puckerman! I have raised you to be a good boy and you apologize. You apologize and you had better mean it when you say it or it means nothing. Do you hear me, Noah? When you say it, you mean it or it means nothing!" she yells at him.

He's scared silly by her flipping out on him like that and all he can do is bob his head up and down and blink his eyes. He's not going to cry even though he wants to because he's not a pussy.

"I apologize, Ma! I mean it," he splutters, "My teacher didn't believe me when I told him Chaya ruined my essay even when I showed it to him. He was an asshole, Ma. And I won't apologize to him because it's true."

She grabs him and holds him tightly. When she starts apologizing to him he really starts to freak out. He doesn't get it because adults are supposed to be right all the time. He doesn't understand why she would apologize to him. She gets on the phone and calls the school to chew out the principal for not having the whole story. She defends him for being upset but agrees he was wrong to swear at his teacher. He still has to do detention and he has to write an essay why being disrespectful is wrong but he knows that she believes in him.

Mrs. Hudson and Finn bring Chaya home and they all eat dinner together. He won't admit it to her but he thinks his Mom is pretty awesome. He doesn't think she can be any awesomer until she installs a lock on his bedroom door that only has two keys - one for him and one for her. He high fives her and she grins just as big as he does.

His sister stays out of his room now so now he has to keep it clean to prove to his Mom that Chaya was the one who kept messing it up. She tells him she's proud of him and surprises him with a PS2 and tells him he can use it as long as he keeps his grades up. He promises he will because he knows he's smart and is always on the honor roll. School is easy for him but it's the stupid rules and shit that he hates.

He spends a week in detention writing his essay or doing his homework. It wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it would be. He doesn't tell his Mom that because she's been making him his favorite dinners every night and he loves it.

Not long after the junk with his teacher it's Chaya's birthday. He saved up to get her the dollhouse she's been blabbering on and on about. She's so excited when she unwraps it that she tackles him to the floor. He blames it on all the cake and ice cream she's eaten when he sees his Mom smiling at them.

He thinks that being the man of the house isn't so bad. He can do this. He can help his Mom because his asshole Dad is never coming back so he has to take care of his family. He'd never abandon his family. Ever.

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**_A/N: Please take a moment to comment or review. It's what writers live on!_**


	5. Chapter 4

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 4  
**

**Rating: PG-13 - Puck is a freshman in high school and cusses like he gets paid for it. Trufax.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: Thank you to im2looney and knkykty for being a great Beta Babes and also great listeners. You two rock my mismatched socks off! **

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He's fifteen and always pissed off. His father actually remembers his birthday this year and sends him fifty bucks. He still thinks his father is an asshole. He's a freshman in high school so his life mostly sucks because of the upper classmen. He's on the football team trying to get noticed by Coach Tanaka for his obvious talent but he just seems to get yelled at. He does get noticed by the Cheerios for his new mohawk and his body, but mostly for the stupid shit he says to them.

"Hey Lopez!" he calls across the football field, "If I said you had a hot body would you hold it against me?"

She rolls her eyes as she flips him off. The pissed off brunette grabs Brittany's pinkie and Brittany waves at him excitedly as she's dragged away. He knows Santana is full of shit because when she's not with Britt she's pulling him into janitor's closets to let him get to second base. She cusses at him in Spanish when the other Cheerios are around but whispers things in his ear when it's just them. He's cool with that. He knows girls are weird so he deals.

His Mom works too hard so he has to pick Chaya up at her friend's house every day after practice and watch her until it's almost bedtime. Most days he's the one making dinner - spaghetti, pizza, grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese or anything out of a can he's really good at. His Mom and Chaya thank him for all his hard work but he would rather have a car when he turns sixteen. His mother refuses to even discuss it since the money is stretched tightly enough as it is. He thinks he deserves one because he works his ass off helping since he's the man of the house.

He goes to Finn's birthday party but leaves the second that Mrs. Hudson hands over the keys to a total piece of shit boat of a car that somebody's grandma must have owned. He runs as far and as fast as he can, blindly zig zagging across the blocks until a car almost hits him; that is when he completely loses his shit.

He climbs up the hood of the car screaming at the top of his lungs at the asswipe driver. He starts pummeling the windshield with his fist until his knuckles start to bleed. The poor driver is scared out of his mind so the guy is frantically dialing his cellphone and the police show up pretty quickly after that.. The siren, along with the flashing lights, bring the bloody boy back from his rampage.

It takes two officers to get him handcuffed and buckled in the backseat of the squad car. He knows that his mother is going to go feral on him when she gets him at the police station so he starts banging his head against the metal barrier. His face is bleeding but he doesn't care.

"Yes, Mrs. Puckerman, we found him." the cop tells his mother as they stuff him in. "Unfortunately he did an extensive amount of damage to the car that almost ran him over so we'll be taking him to the station. I'm sorry, Mrs. Puckerman, but it is necessary considering his actions. You can pick him up after he's been processed and the proper paperwork has been filled out."

They put him in an empty holding cell where he lays down on the cold floor until he can hear his mother's weeping echoing down the hallway. He is properly fucked now. He is positive that the second they get home she is going to lock him in the basement forever. Absolutely forever.

She drives him home in silence. He'd much rather have her yelling at him than just sitting there. He can't even look at her so he stares at his feet wishing that he were invisible. Invisibility would be the best thing ever right now but he knows it won't happen so he really hopes that it isn't Mrs. Hudson who is watching Chaya. He would rather walk on broken glass than see Mrs. Hudson after the party that he is sure he wrecked. He would rather eat Finn's Home Ec cooking than see Finn. Shit.

They get home and he's still staring at his shoes as he shuffles in the front door. Mrs. Hudson, Finn and Chaya launch themselves at him to envelop him in a rib crushing hug. He sputters that he can't breathe but they keep hugging.

He looks at his mother with her tear stained face to apologize. He knows he needs to because he knows she needs it as much as he does.

"I apologize, Ma," he whispers, just loud enough for her to hear. She cries even harder because he means it.

He's grounded to his room except for school and football for the next month. He also has to mow the Hudson's lawn once a week to make it up to his best friend. It sucks his left nut but he still has his best friend. He knows Finn has forgiven him when the tall boy brings him a soda after the lawn is done. It explodes all over the two of them so they laugh. They spend the next hour belching then crushing the soda cans on their heads.

A few months later when it's his birthday his Mom gives him the keys to a truck that is a piece of shit but it's his. Mr Hummel offers to show him how to fix it so they can save some money and it can be dependable transportation. He thinks he actually might be happy. What makes it even better is that he notices that the head cheerleader Quinn Fabray is paying attention to him at school so he decides he'll talk to her. He swaggers over like the stud he is and starts to talk to her. Finn interrupts them to take her hand.

"Hi, Finn. I was just talking to Puck while I waited for you," she smiles at both of the boys.

He watches them walk away and he stands there with his jaw on the floor. It is at that moment that he promises that she will be his no matter what.

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_**A/N: Please take a moment to comment or review. It's what us writers live for! Thank you.**_


	6. Chapter 5

Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 5

Rating: PG-13 - Puck is in high school and cusses like he gets paid for it. Trufax.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay

A/N: Thank you to Leigh who beta'd this baby LIEK WHOA. I appreciate it!**  
**

**_Sorry is what your first cougar says after her husband gives you a black eye._**

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He starts a pool cleaning business to keep the money coming in. It helps his Mom pay the bills and buy Chaya stuff that the other girls her age have. The truck he drives runs well and gets him to football practice, basketball practice and wherever he feels like going. His mother appreciates him working so hard and doesn't really give a fuck where he is until ten o'clock at night. She'll start calling his cellphone to nag him to get home until he actually does. He buys her a new stove when theirs practically blows up one night. It was past fuckin' old so he's not surprised when it happens. His Mom tells everyone at temple "what a good boy Noah is" because he's taking care of his family.

He always gets extra money from the cougars who are lonely. He cleans their pools and then says the words that their busy husbands have forgotten to say while he makes them remember what those same men used to be like in bed. He makes them feel beautiful and wanted for as long as they want him there. He holds them and does what they ask him to, whether it's unclog the bathroom drain, take out the garbage or just sit and drink a beer with them. He'd much rather be with Quinn Fabray but she's dating Finn. Why the fuck is she dating him? Probably because Hudson is the captain of the football team and her parents think the sun shines out his Christian ass. Whatever the fuck. By the end of the school year he'll have that Cheerio notch on his bedpost, no problem.

He gets a call from one of his cougars and he's pretty broke so he goes over to see her. After cleaning her pool he fucks her quick and dirty in the kitchen just the way she likes it. He's going for orgasm number three when her husband gets home earlier than she expected. The guy goes apeshit on him and clocks him a few times, breaking his nose and giving him a black eye.

"I am so sorry, Puck! Are you okay?" she hands him a dishtowel to put on his bloodied nose.

Her husband is screaming his head off saying that he's going to get his gun so he'd better get his ass out of their house. The cougar already paid him so he leaves with enough money to pay for groceries for the next month. It's almost worth the jacked up face.

When he gets home his mother loses her shit.. He's never seen her this absolutely freaked out. She is screaming about lawyers and suing people and he just wants to sleep off his beer buzz for a few hours. She insists on taking him to the ER to see if he needs stitches, which he does. Chaya and his mother won't stop crying and it's starting to freak him out. The doctors finally release him after x-raying everything twice. His mother has the pain meds he has to take every day and the kit of things they need to take care of the ten stitches he needed. This blows.

He crawls into bed. Everything fucking hurts so he sleeps. Nightmares wake him up until his mom gives him more pills to kill the pain. A fuzzy warmth drags him under until the sunlight coming through his shades wakes him up. Fuck. He realizes that his mother knows that he's been up to some seriously bad shit and she's probably going to chew his galaxy a new black hole. Fuck.

He walks slowly downstairs because everything still fucking hurts and his stomach is growling like he hasn't eaten in a month. He walks into the kitchen to see his mom and little sister eating lunch as they talk in hushed tones. His mom gets up and smacks his arm. Hard.

"Whatthefuck?" he yells. He grabs his arm.

"Noah! There is no swearing in this house. And secondly, why did I get a call from the police today telling me you're lucky to not be in jail right now?" she growls.

"How was I supposed to know that some chick would try to seduce me after I cleaned her pool? Shit, Ma! I'm just trying to help take care of you and Chaya."

His mom smacks his arm again.

"Wrong thing for someone who is going to be grounded forever to say, Noah!"

His sister points and him and laughs loudly, "You are so busted, Puck!"

He glares at his sister then looks to his mother who is on the verge of tears now. He can see how embarrassed she is and how he's broken her heart just a little bit more with his douchery. Fuck.

"I'm sorry. I-I-I'm sorry, Ma! I know it was wrong but I knew we needed the money to buy shit so I did what I had to do. It's not like _Dad_ is around to do it," he sneers.

She slaps him. Hard. He's pretty sure she broke a few stitches when he sees the thick redness drip down his chin and drop to the linoleum. She tries to say something to console him but he pushes her away as he storms out of the house.

He walks over to the Hudson's house to talk to Finn but the only person he finds is Quinn sitting on the front stoop staring at at her watch. He sees the opportunity and takes it.

The Cheerio gasps when she sees him, mostly because of his jacked up face but also because he surprises her. She's shy with him but they talk about school and sports. They talk about a big party coming up the next week so he offers to buy her some wine coolers he remembers are her favorites. She tells him he's pretty awesome for knowing what she likes and she almost kisses him but Finn chose that moment to drive up.

Puck goes home and walks into his mother's room to find her fast asleep.

"I apologize, Ma. I know what I did was wrong but I did it for you and Chaya. I apologize."


	7. Chapter 6

Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 6

Rating: R - This chapter contains DrizzleBeth's conception and Puck cusses like he gets paid for it. Trufax.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay

_A/N: Thank you to Leigh who beta'd this baby LIEK WHOA. I appreciate it! Thank you to 2looney and all my Tweeple who rock my mismatched socks off! _

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_**Sorry is what you say to the drunk cheerleader you fucked who ends up pregnant.**_

They actually won their football game for the first time in, well, for fuckin' ever. Of course there's an insanely big party. Mr. and Mrs. Fabray are out of town so Quinn volunteers to have it at their house. When he walks into her house the first thing he sees is her sitting on Hudson's lap with her legs crossed, her Cheerio's uniform on and her tongue down the tall boy's throat. He's doing a keg stand about thirty seconds later and that's twenty nine seconds too late in his opinion.

He decides about an hour later that he needs something to eat so he goes to the kitchen. She's there with her head in their huge, silver refrigerator with her ass sticking out so he smacks it.

"Puck! What is your damage?" she yells at him. She smacks his arm a few times then goes back to investigating her food options.

He pushes the door open a little more to get the wine coolers he brought her off the top shelf. He winks as he twists the cap off one and hands it to her. She's suddenly sweet to him with her batting eyelashes and a peck to his cheek. He grabs the dip out of the fridge and the chips off the kitchen counter. She drinks the cooler slowly as he shoves the food into his mouth. They both can feel the warm pull deep in their bellies as they watch each other. He offers her some chips but she says she can't eat them because she's feeling fat.

He laughs at her. Loudly. "Please. You're practically anorexic as it is!" He take both his palms and rubs them up and down her sides to emphasize her curves. He leaves his hands resting on her hips for a few seconds to hold her still and play with the hem of her Cheerio top.

She reaches over and pulls on his football jersey but won't look him in the eyes. "You know I'm dating Finn. I won't even let him see my bra." she says quietly. "What makes you think I'll let you get into my panties, Puck?"

"Because you want me to, Quinn. That's why. You want me so badly your panties are starting to fall as we speak." He says it because he knows it's true. He can hear her breathing slowly as she tries to calm herself down.

She traces a finger along his hip then looks to see what his reaction is. When he sees her eyes go wide and he licks his lips she knows he wants her. He really wants her and it scares her. He thinks it scares her because she was raised to believe she should wait until marriage but she wants it just as bad as he does.

He knows she's the president of the Celibacy Club so he's got a challenge ahead of him.

She's definitely a challenge he wants to take on. He considers it a personal goal.

"C'mon Fabray. You gonna be a good hostess and show me around your house? I'd hate to think you weren't being a good girl while your parents were gone," he smirks. He grabs a wine cooler and chugs it as he waits for her smartassed remark.

She rolls her eyes at him. "Like you care about manners, Puckerman."

"Ya gonna show me around or not?" He tries to look badass but it only comes off as a pout. "C'mon Quinn! Show me where the head Cheerio rests her dainty head. I bet you have stuffed animals on your bed and a white lacy comforter."

She folds her arms and scowls at him. He stops being an ass.

He grabs the wine cooler case and they walk upstairs to her room away from all the noise. Finn has passed out on the back lawn after a few shots of her Dad's whiskey an hour earlier so there's no chance of him interrupting. He sees the big picture of Jesus over her bed and flinches.

"That picture is creepy as shit Quinn. Can you flip it over or something?" He shudders as its eyes follow him around the room. "No wonder Christians feel so guilty."

She smacks him on the chest. "Don't say that about _Him_!" She starts to leave and he touches her arm.

"Please, babe," he whispers. He quickly takes off his jersey and throws it to the floor. She watches him sit on her bed and pat the space next to him. He knows she's not supposed to want it but her eyes say she wants to, badly. Her head wobbles a little as she sits. Soon they're kissing, his hands are in her hair. Then they're laying down but his hand is on her leg now.

He tells her he's done this before with Brittany and Santana. He really wants her to quit shaking because he knows what he's doing. She tells him she's the president of the Celibacy Club and he knows. He also knows that Brittany and Santana are still in the club so obviously the rules aren't terribly strict.

"Trust me." He means it. He knows how clumsy and awkward he felt, not that he'll tell her that shit. He reassures her that she's definitely _not _fat and hands her another wine cooler. He drinks the last bottle then sets it on her bedside table.

"I'm not gonna do anything you don't want, Q. You just tell me 'no' if you don't wanna do something, okay?"

She nods her head slowly as she watches him take his jeans off.

Off goes her skirt and her Cheerios top.

His tank top hits the floor next to his jeans soon after.

Her teeth chatter loudly as they lay down on her bed. He kisses her neck, her ear and then pushes her bra straps down while he quietly reassures her that everything is okay. She moans when he moves his hand back to her thigh. Her teeth stop chattering when he kisses her deeply. They both come up for air and her eyes are wide.

"You ready? I'm gonna go slow, babe."

She nods her head quietly. She pushes her panties down for him and unclasps her bra.

He pushes his boxer briefs down and flicks them on the floor with his foot.

"You are so beautiful. You know that?" he exhales. He adjusts himself then slowly pushes into her. He pushes himself onto his elbows as he finds a rhythm.

She flinches when he first enters her. She tries to move in tandem with his thrusts but it's awkward.

He focuses on her breasts to get her to feel better about how weird things are. She moans loudly when he starts to suckle her nipple. He sees her wicked smile so he does the same to her other breast. She moans again as his movements speed up.

"Damn, Q. I am so close," he grunts out. He collapses on her after he yells her name.

She kisses his chest a few times before she excuses herself to go use the bathroom. She grabs her pile of clothes and slowly shuts the door.

He gets dressed while she's gone then lays back down on her bed.

When she comes back out her hair is perfect, her Cheerios uniform is on and she has a grin on her face. "You know we can't let Finn find out about us. Ever."

For the next month they have polite conversations at school, wicked makeout sessions at his house while they "study", and even figure out how to have sex in her walk in closet. She corners him at school to tell him that she's late.

"I don't mean late for class you moron! I mean _I'm late_," she hisses.

"What the fuck does that have to do with me? Shouldn't you be telling your boyfriend?"

She stomps away and they don't talk unless they have to. After Babygate hits they argue in the hall. He tells her he'd provide for her and his baby and she gives him reason after reason he can't.

"What do you want me to do? Damn it! I'm sorry!" he yells into his cellphone. He can hear her crying now, big sobs getting louder and louder. He can't take it anymore so he hangs up on her. He stares at his phone for an hour before he types out a text.

_I apologize_

He doesn't send it, but he means it.

* * *

**_A/N: Please take a moment to comment or review. It's what fic writers live on!_**


	8. Chapter 7

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 7  
**

**Rating: PG-13 - Puck is in high school and cusses like he gets paid for it. Trufax.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: A huge thank you to anonymousbeta for whipping this into shape and to knkykty, Sassykel_26 and valerieeee. You ladies know why.  
**

* * *

_Sorry is what you say to your former best friend when he finds out you're the babydaddy._

He can't run fast enough or far enough when Finn finds out that he's the father of Quinn's baby. He knows that he is completely and totally _fucked_ when Hudson eventually finds him. They've been friends since the freakishly tall chair-abusing kid was shorter and been through plenty of shit but this just might be bigger than both of them.

His mother keeps asking him nosy questions about "that Berry girl from Temple" at dinner and his little sister whining about how they never play their PS2 anymore.

"Ma!" he groans. "I just want to eat my freakin' dinner and get my stupid homework done, 'kay?" The meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas are quickly shoved into his mouth with a big spoonful of gravy.

Chaya does the same thing then opens her mouth to show him her half-chewed food. He has to outdo her and opens his mouth wider then starts to slowly let it ooze down his face.

His mother laughs and talks about how good it is to have such great kids. It makes him blush and he keeps staring at his plate. He knows she's gonna find out that he knocked a girl up and she'll take all that back. She'll be embarrassed to have him as a son and there will be yelling and things will get thrown and broken. It'll be like one of the epic fights his parents had, he knows it.

"I try, Ma." he says awkwardly around the food in his mouth. "Sometimes I screw up. I'm sorry."

Now there's a bowling ball sitting in his stomach because he's going to tell her. _Fuck. _He's going to tell her and it's going to suck. Sure she's been pissed at him before but this fuck up just might break her. Right now he's trying to figure out how quickly he can pack a bag and run to his car without her tackling him to the ground. He'd have to do it when she's sleeping or else she'd have him face down in the living room in her patented chokehold in less than ten seconds.

Chaya starts to blubber whens he sees the look on her mother's face. It's serious and three shades whiter than it's ever been. When the snot starts to run from her nose she runs to her room. He yells after her but she ignores him and slams her door. Even the munchkin knows when the shit is about to hit the fan.

While his mother reassures him that it's okay and that everyone makes bad choices and that she won't be mad, he knows she's gonna lose it. He can feel it in his whole body and her calmness is seriously freaking him the fuck out.

"No Ma," he interrupts her. "I seriously fucked up this time. It's nothing with the police, I promise."

She scolds him for his language and excuses herself from the table to see how his little sister is.

He pushes his chair back from the table because he's pretty sure he's gonna puke. Right as he gags his cellphone beeps that there's a text.

_were not friends. dont talk to me at school. ever._

Finn. His (ex) best friend has never been this pissed. He didn't expect him to be happy about finding out but it's not like she's keeping it, right? She's already kicked out of her house and living with Mercedes. She wouldn't fuck her life up more by keeping it.

His mother comes back with his sniffling sister and puts the little girl on her lap. He inhales then starts to explain things to his mother in one big jumbly sentence. His sister just buries her head in their mother's shoulder and starts to blubber again.

"Ma, please say something," he begs. It's obvious she's disappointed in him because she won't look at him. He is completely and utterly screwed.

He can't understand why she isn't furious and yelling at him and telling him to get out. He even thought for a second or two she'd call his Nana and he'd have to go live with her until he graduated.

When she starts to talk again she just keeps saying his name over and over again in between small sobs and patting Chaya's back. She still isn't yelling so he pushes himself away from the table and heads for the door.

"I'm sorry Ma," he says as his voice wavers. "I gotta go talk to Finn before he gets too pissy. I'll be back."

"Why do you have to go see Finn now, off all the times?" she says quietly. "You need to stay home and we can talk about how we're going to handle this, Noah. Having a baby is a big responsibility and things are tight around here but I think..."

"She's not keeping it," he interrupts. "She's giving it away, Ma. Her folks already kicked her out for being knocked up so there's so way she's gonna keep it. And before you ask, no. No we aren't dating and yes she was dating Hudson when we... well, you know."

His mother's eyes go wide and he takes it as a subtle hint that it was the perfect time to leave. He quickly jumped in his truck and heads over to the Hudsons'. He'll just tell his best friend that he fucked up and then they'll get back to being best friends. All of his childhood memories are tied up with the Finn and his Mom and their families being friends so he really can't imagine them not being that way.

After a quick drive across town he parks his truck on the street in front of the house where he spent half of his life.

He calls Finn and he has to pull the cellphone away from his ear because suddenly all he can hear is expletives pummeling his eardrum. The (rightly so) angry dude won't stop yelling until he realizes that the person he's yelling at is standing next to him.

"Dude. What is your problem? I told you we're not friends," Finn yells at him.

"Don't be an asshole," he fires back. "We've always been friends. So I screwed up. I'm sorry. You know I'm a fuckin' idiot most of the time.'

Finn runs his fingers through his hair and then flails his arms, "You slept with my girlfriend, you tool! That, like, breaks every friend rule there is. How stupid are you Puck? You slept with her and now she's pregnant. I thought the baby was mine! Why do you always have to make things suck?"

The taller boy starts pushing him back towards the door and that's when he starts swinging.

"Why do you always have to get what you want?" Finn yells at him. "Why do I have to work so fucking hard and have nothing? She's not mine or yours anymore and she's giving the baby away. Does that make you happy?"

He goes to open the door and Finn grabs his arm.

"What? She can't do that!"

"Dude. It's her body. It's not like any of us could help her raise the baby," he retorts. He grabs the door, opens it and then turns back around. "I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I don't think you believe me yet, but you will. It always works out for us. We've been friends since forever and it's gonna stay that way."

Later that night he starts to text his friend but then stops and deletes it. He thinks about what his mother has always said and then types it again.

_I apologize._

* * *

_**A/N: If you liked it, didn't like it or just have a question please leave a comment for me. Thank you for reading!**  
_


	9. Chapter 8

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Chapter 8  
**

**Rating: PG-13 - Puck is in high school and cusses like he gets paid for it. Trufax.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay. Also, I used some dialogue from the episode "Sectionals" to keep with established Glee canon. (something new for me!)  
**

_******A/N: A huge thank you to knkykty for whipping this into shape and also a huge hug to valerieeee. Thank you for being patient.  
**_

* * *

_**Sorry is what you say to your daughter on the day she is born when you hold her for the first and last time. **_

He's there when she's born. His girlfriend is yelling at him through her (_holyshitdontbreakmyhand)_ painful and pretty fucking serious contractions and pushing, telling him that she hates him and that he is never touching her again. He believes her. He's getting more scared as her screams get louder so starts pacing to try to figure out where he should go. Mercedes is on one side, singing and quoting what he thinks are Bible verses to help the weeping girl feel some relief. The only woman he knows that would wear fucking pearls over the green hospital gown is on her other side cheering her daughter on as best she can. They give her a shitton of drugs but they just make her even more tired so she goes back to crying and swats away his hands. After hours of sweating, crazy pain and threatening of genitals a tiny, high pitched cry breaks through everything, somehow making the room dead quiet.

He is frozen in his tracks as he watches the redfaced, squirming and squalling baby kick as she is cleaned up. He is shocked to realize that he's crying because he feels the wetness run down his cheeks but he can't stop. He finally stops when he sees Quinn holding their daughter with such bliss on her face. He has never seen her that happy, ever. Her eyes are shining and the way she's looking at that tiny baby is making his heart hurt. They're not keeping her because they haven't even graduated from high school yet so they can't even support themselves so why does it feel like his chest is going to crack open?

After a few minutes of staring at the craziest scene he could have ever imagined he goes out to the hallway to update his friends. He can only nod his head before he starts to break down. Mr. Schuester hugs him like his Dad should be and as that flashes through his head he lets go and backs up. He quickly wipes his face with his sleeve and goes back to see Quinn and the baby that wasn't really theirs.

He walks back into the room and the mother of his child is still focused on the baby that they'll be giving to someone else in her arms.

"Um, Mercedes?" he says as his voice cracks. "Could you and Mrs. Fabray please leave? I'd kinda like to spend some time with Quinn.. a-a-and Beth. Sorry Mercedes."

Mercedes kisses Quinn and Beth, then practically breaks his ribs with a hug. "Good job, Puck. You did a great job, for a guy." She winks at him as she leaves and he can only roll his eyes because they both know she's right. She was on the verge of laughing a few times the way he gagged and close to fainting when he got on the receiving end of Quinn.

He turns and waits for the room to clear before he sits down next to the bed. He can't help but grin like an idiot at the baby who seems to be looking at them with something to say. He hasn't had a lot of reasons to smile lately so his face feels weird like this. Quinn notices and they have a moment that feels so normal, so incredibly normal for new parents but then it stops. It stops because they want to take the baby to the nursery to be fed. He scowls at the nurse for interrupting and shrugs at Quinn when she offers the baby to him.

"Can I push her in the thingy down to the nursery? I wanna make sure she gets there okay," he asks.

He gets the okay so he gingerly takes the baby from Quinn, whispers into the baby's ear and sets the sleeping infant down. He peppers Quinn's face and forehead with kisses to let her know things are going to be okay. He doesn't even know why he does it but it just feels like the right thing to do.

Quinn covers her mouth with one hand and wipes her eyes with the other. They both knew that this whole _thing_ would be hard but this shit is ridiculous. Nobody told him how there would be this fucked up version of a popcorn popper in his head making him feel insane at all the thoughts he's having.

He walks the the bassinette down the hall and stares at a set of eyes that he is convinced look just like his. How could someone you've just met make you feel so much? He doesn't know why but it scares the shit out of him. He's scared that he won't want to give her up and that he'll want to give her up. What will she think if him when she's older? That legit terrifies him more than hearing from his mom that she's disappointed. _ Fuck._ He tries to shake it off but that just makes him think about it more.

The nurses take the baby from him and he wants to not let go.

He goes back to Quinn's room, sits next to her and holds her hand while she talks. He can't really hear her but he nods his head and says something back when she stops. When the nurses bring her a tray of food she eats it quickly and mentions how good it tastes and how nice it is to not have everything give her heartburn. The second the last word exits her mouth she starts to cry.

"I said that because I'd be a terrible mother, right?" she blubbers. "I'm terrible because I'm happy she's gone, aren't I, Puck?"

He pushes away the tray that is hovering over the bed, takes her hand and tugs on it. He jerks his head to the side then tugs on her hand again.

"C'mon," he says quietly. "Let's go ask her if she thinks you're terrible."

Quinn protests but then shuffles around the room to grab her robe and slippers. They walk down to the nursery and stand in front of the window and stare at their, for the time being, sleeping infant.

"She looks like you. Do you want to keep her?" He's almost scared to hear her answer. They both know they're too young to be parents, right?

"No," she says rather flatly. "Do you?"

He doesn't answer because it's all been decided. They talked about all the options and they decided letting her be adopted is the best thing for her and for them.

"Did you ever love me?" she asks.

He nods a few times before he finds the right words. "Yes. Especially now."

They stand there for a few minutes ignoring the hustle and bustle of the hospital when they realize that someone is standing next to them.

He curls his lip into a snarl when he realizes it's the Vocal Adrenaline coach. They already beat them at the stupid competition thing or whatever so why the fuck would she be here staring at his kid?

"Which one is yours?" Shelby asks them.

He doesn't answer her but focuses on the little girl he hopes that he hasn't already messed up by just making her. He knows Quinn is talking to Coach whatsherbutt and has her bitchface on with her patented eyebrow arch engaged but only pays attention when the baby is mentioned.

Shelby smiles. " I see her now. She looks like you. Does she have a name?"

He and Quinn both answer at the same time. She says no. He says the name that he chose and the one they always used to refer to the baby on the other side of the glass window

_Beth._

Shelby nods her approval and comments how she likes the name. He really doesn't care what she thinks, he just wants her gone from the moment that he was having with Quinn. When she leaves as silently as she came the headache that was starting in the back of his head stops.

Quinn slips her hand into his and laces their fingers. "If we were older and more responsible maybe..."

"Yeah, maybe," he whispers. "But we're not."

He stays with her in the hospital until they say she can go home. Nobody comes to visit so they get into a schedule of taking care of the baby, sharing the meals they bring Quinn (she won't eat if he's not there) and napping like the Big and Little spoon. When they have to hand over the baby they both cry harder than they'll ever confess to. The last time he holds his daughter, the one time he'll remember, he holds her close to whisper every apology he could think of, always coming back to if only he wasn't such a fuck up and could be the kickass dad she needs.

"I apologize for not being there when you take your first steps," he begins. "I apologize for not being there on your first day of school. I apologize for not helping you pull your first loose tooth. I apologize for not scaring the first boy you bring home. I apologize for not being at all your graduations. I apologize for not walking you down the aisle. Most of all, Beth, I apologize for being a boy and not being a man. I'll always love you, baby girl."

When the social worker takes the warm bundle from his arms he's pretty sure it sucks all the goodness out of his life. He and Quinn refuse to talk about the whole thing for years and pretend it didn't happen for as long as possible.

He leaves the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart. Not even his mother can fix this.

"I apologize, Ma," he chokes out.

* * *

_**A/N2: Okay! One more chapter to go - Puck's wedding day. ****Who do you think he should marry? I still can't decide!**_


	10. Rachel

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Rachel  
**

**Rating: T - Because Puck is a grown up and cusses because he can.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: **_Thank you to knkykty for being a great Beta Babe at such short notice! You rock my mismatched socks off. _

**A/N 2: The next four chapters are four potential marital outcomes for Puck**** so take your pick! I hope you enjoy them.**

* * *

Rachel tries to show him another stack of wedding magazines in the middle of a fantastic post-sex breakfast. It seriously ruins the appetite he had worked up making his fiancee scream his name. Best. Morning. Ever. And now it's gone.

"Rach," he says in-between bites. "I'm trying to get my energy back up after that workout we had this morning. Please can I eat my french toast, drink a little coffee and then you can attack me with questions? Not that you'll listen."

She just pouts at him with the perfect percentage of lip accompanied by the exact eye batting she knew would make him feel guilty - she was an expert after all. After almost ten years together, a recently purchased house and now a baby on the way she knew how to twist him around her little finger.

"Fine," he concedes. "You show me the sixty-four new dresses you like then we'll call the dressmaker my Ma knows and sees if she can make any of them a little bit bigger around the middle. You know we gotta tell her, like yesterday."

His mother had been asking for years when to expect a daughter in law and grandchildren when he was promoted to manager at Hummel's garage, so the day they moved in to a newly purchased house she cried with joy. After which Rachel got the worst case of babyfever on the planet. He didn't fight the idea as much as she thought he would. Why? It actually made sense. That's what you did when you knew it was forever, right? He didn't need a Powerpoint presentation or charts and graphs to tell him that a family was their next step. Marriage, for some reason, took some tooth pulling.

He moves his chair closer to hers so he could rub her newly showing belly. The pregnancy hadn't been too much of a shock to them after an entire summer dedicated to "trying". Rachel was teaching music at their temple yeshiva during the school year so she had the vacation months to spend exclusively on private vocal lessons. It was a fantastic setup for their "little project" that they took advantage of as much as possible.

"Are you sure you still want to get married, Noah? We don't have to simply because we have a child together," she murmurs. "I've always said we didn't need a piece of paper to validate our relationship. I just want to be with you and I don't need anyone else's approval."

He kisses her forehead as he chuckles. "I'd be happy just to be with you and as many punks as we are blessed with," he sighed. "Hell, is the reason we're doing this is because everyone wants us to get married to make them happy? I just wish we could do it at the courthouse with two witnesses. Everyone knows I fuckin' love you, why do we need to do it in front of a herd of people to prove it?"

When he sees her eyes start to sparkle he knew she had made a new decision. He also knows that his mother is going to have an absolute shitfit when she hears what it was.

"Your mother is going to be so mad if I take this away from her, Noah!" she gasps. "She and I have been planning every minutiae of the service and we even found a caterer who could do a half vegan half carnivore buffet for us!"

"Who is this wedding supposed to be for? Her or us?" he asks. "I'm still not sure why we're doing this if both of us agree we don't want to? That so didn't come out right. You know what I mean!"

Rachel frowns as she twirls a strand of her hair. "Noah, I don't like to think the only reason we're doing this is to appease our parents. It will be nice to file our taxes jointly and have the same last name. Won't it?"

He grabs both her hands and kisses them. "What do you want baby?" he says quietly. "We're already a family; you, me and this kid. Got it? No piece of shitty paper is going to make it realer to me."

She laughs because he knows what he says was gramatically incorrect. He just doesn't care. This is one of the reasons she fell in love with him. He knows that he's wrong sometimes and he's doesn't even care. She quickly sit on his lap then wraps her arms around him.

"You're right, Noah," she mumurs. "About everything. Let's just get married at the courthouse. We were already going to have the reception at my dads' house so..."

"Now we just have to call everybody who's coming and let them know the wedding has been cancelled!" he interrupts. "Easy. How about we start that after lunch?"

She tries to laugh but is overwhelmed by a tidal wave of nausea and rushes to the bathroom. As she retches into the toilet he holds her hair as he sits on the floor next to her. They sit there silently until she nods to let him know she's finished.

"Ew," she whispers. "I'll be glad when that over with. I don't know why they even call it morning sickness! That's a horrible misnomer. It hits at such random times I swear we're having a boy because this baby seems to enjoy being contrary like his father."

She swigs the mouthwash he hands her then swishes and spits in the bowl. After almost five months of this they've got it down pat.

He shakes his head as he helps her up, "Nope. Gonna have a girl that likes to argue just like her Mama and is always right."

"I'm always right?" she purrs. "I think I might need that in writing, love."

"How about we have a shindig, invite everyone who matters and I'll do just that?" he counters.

So they do. It takes a lot of phone calls, a lot of apologies but they get it all arranged with only a few tears.

Before he realizes the time has flown by and he's standing at the courthouse waiting for his fiancee. She's late because she and her dads can't stop crying so he has time to think. He is trying to remember what events and people brought him to this day - his wedding day. There are so many things in his life that have made him the man he his - good and bad. One constant throughout his life has been his mother's words: _"Noah, saying your sorry is too easy. It has no soul or meaning because people say it every day and don't really mean it. When you mean it you apologize. Do you understand? Apologize."_

* * *

_**I also had requests for Santana and Quinn as options so I'll be posting those soon. Let me know what you think!**  
_


	11. Tina

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Tina  
**

**Rating: T - Because Puck is a grown up and cusses because he can.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: **_I've been wanting to write this part of the fic forever. I was in a Glee RP and our Puck and Tina were the best couple in the game because of the players so a big shoutout to Johanna and Charli, the best Tinas ever. __Thank you to knkykty for being a great Beta Babe at such short notice! You rock my mismatched socks off. _

* * *

He's getting married and he's absolutely scared out of his fucking mind. Why? His mother has been calling every day to talk to him and his girl about their plans. The woman's constant attention is seriously harshing his calm. He's not big on thinking too far ahead so he's left a lot of it up to Tina. She is having way too much fun with the whole thing and it makes him laugh so he gives her shit about it. Right now she's online and he half hears her talking to him about what she's found for their wedding and how he's going to love it.

"Babe?" he asks. "Did you just giggle about picking out our cake? I was just wondering because I consider cake pretty important in my life."

She raises an eyebrow and smirks at him. "As do I, sweetcheeks. As do I. Which is why I ordered a totally kickass cake."

"Please tell me it's shaped like the Death Star!" he said with his eyes wide. "You know I have always wanted a Death Star cake and holy shit that would be a fuckin' awesome wedding cake!"

Tina grabs her phone off the nearby table and she quickly presses a few buttons then turns it to face him with a growing grin on her face. Of course she had known about his childhood fantasy so she searched all over the internet to find someone up to the challenge.

He grabs her phone to stare at the picture in high def of his future wedding cake in all its glory. His jaw drops and he seriously has a tear in his eye. It is absolutely mindboggling how fucking awesome his girl is and he still thinks it's just a little insane that they got together in the first place.

Insane because they weren't even really friends until after high school. They were both gamers and somehow ended up being in the same club at OSU. His excuse was that they met in a bar near his apartment and they played on a sixty inch screen. Hers was that her roommate had a boyfriend and they didn't make earplugs strong enough to block their... she couldn't even say it.

Every week she would beat his bragging ass at CoD or really any game he chose, then he'd buy the biggest basket of the hottest wings and she'd eat half. After another night of getting royally beaten he was doing his usual play by play explaining why he was actually better when she kissed him. It definitely shut him up.

That was five years ago and he's pretty sure his mother has been waiting for them to get to this point for about four and a half of that. He thought she was going to lose her mind when they moved in together but she's actually been pretty cool since they set a date a few months ago. But Tina's mom? She made his mom look like a rookie in comparison.

Tina won't even answer her mother's phone calls anymore. The last one she had with her he couldn't even understand part of it because Tina was talking so fast. She only does that when she's completely at the end of her rope. Now her mother calls him and leaves voice messages for her. He often wonders if this is what it's going to be like for the rest of their marriage.

It's about two weeks before their wedding when they have an argument over something stupid. After not talking to each other for almost a week they can't seem remember why it started or why they're still mad. When she walks in the door from an especially long day of work and he's sitting at the dining room table holding a dozen lilies her heart just breaks.

"I apologize T," he chokes out. "I just want us to be happy again. I'm fuckin' miserable and for the life of me I don't know what to do."

She starts bawling, sits down on his lap and hugs him so tightly he can hardly breathe. He has missed her touch so much it just confirms the fact that this is forever.

"I love you so much and it's not okay when things get this bad between us," he murmurs. "It's not okay, T. We're getting married so shouldn't we be all stupid and sappy right now?"

"I don't want to get married in the temple," she blurts out. "I want it to be just us. Please?"

He freezes for a moment then gently pushes her face towards him to look in her eyes. Now he feels guilty because he had no idea she felt that way. She had spent hours with their mothers talking to planners, bakers and caterers then come home to talk excitedly about it. Remembering that makes him feel even more guilty.

"We'll do whatever you want, babe," he murmurs. "I just want one day to stand up in front of everyone to tolerates me to let them know how much I fucking love you. I want them to know how you put up with my shit and that being with you makes me not want to be an asshole."

She kisses him to shut him up. Again. And it works. Again.

She pulls back from the kiss with a grin on her face. "So how are we going to tell our parents we're just gonna have a Vegas wedding?" she asks in between giggles.

He lets his head fall forward and rests his head on her shoulder. They've already put a deposit down on a banquet hall in Wapakoneta and paid for the kosher buffet to be catered so maybe they could just call Rabbi Aronson and get him to marry them at the courthouse with a judge.

"Why did I just hear an explosion in your head, Puck?" Tina asks. "What are you plotting now?"

They stay up that night talking about how their wedding is now going to be ten times better than before. Of course they call their parents the next morning and then spend the rest of the day apologizing while they rearrange everything else. It's a struggle to get it all finished but it's definitely worth it.

The following days pass quickly and he's standing at the courthouse, waiting for his fiancee and he has time to think. He is trying to remember what events and people brought him to this day - his wedding day. There are so many things in his life that have made him the man he his - good and bad. One constant throughout his life has been his mother's words _"Noah, saying your sorry is too easy. It has no soul or meaning because people say it every day and don't really mean it. When you mean it you apologize. Do you understand? Apologize."_

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_**Please take a moment to comment/review. Thank you!**  
_


	12. Santana

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Santana  
**

**Rating: T - Because Puck is a grown up and cusses because he can.  
**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**_A/N: Super thank you to HBIC-Santana for beta-ing this on such short notice! You rock my mismatched socks off! (Go read her fic, it's awesome!) Major smooches to Val - you know why!_**

* * *

It's about a month before the wedding, and Santana's brain begins to play her usual 'holy hell I'm freaking out about commitment' mind games yet again. He knows this, because she currently says random things to make sure he's paying attention.

"I'm obviously not wearing a white dress," Santana murmurs as she eats her lunch. "I haven't been a virgin since middle school and I'm pretty sure my entire parish knows that because of my mother. Maybe I'll just wear black to mourn the loss of my virginity."

He looks up from the video game he's playing to give her a funny look.

"You're not wearing black to our wedding," he says with a laugh. "We've discussed this. We agreed that while you look hot as fuck in anything, that we would wear appropriate clothing to special events. Okay, so we promised our parents because of that, um, one time..."

Santana blushes at the memory. He cracks up because he knows his girl doesn't get embarrassed, like ever, and busts other people's balls when they do.

He had taken her to Finn and Rachel's very formal and equally boring wedding reception, and they unexpectedly found themselves in one of the temple's closets having a quickie to entertain themselves. Unfortunately one of the caterers, who happened to be a friend of their parents, was looking for a broom in exactly that closet. The poor woman had completely lost her shit and chased them out into the main hall in front of everyone. Thank fuck that Finn and Rachel were in the middle of their first dance and so googly eyed with each other they didn't see a thing. Artie the tech-dork, however, had it in hi-def and he emailed to the whole team a few weeks later.

_Asshole._

He makes a face then hangs his head, "At least they forgave us, right?" he suggests. "And when we went to the bris I got to be Jakob's kvater, right? That's a big deal being his godfather, so she's definitely forgotten our fuck-up."

Santana just laughs as she pokes at the food on her plate. They both know that Rachel never forgets anything, ever. The pipsqueak will be guilting them for years to come on behalf of her son, and that's fine. Puck has already put a small drum kit on layaway at the local music store for the boy's first birthday and Santana is making a mixtape of her favorite dubstep and metal rock.

"Baby, you know what she's like," she replies. "She's gonna love our birthday presents though. Twenty bucks says Finn squeals when he sees the drums."

He claps loudly then pats the cushion next to him. "C'mon. Enough of that fun. We gotta get our shit together for the wedding," he says as he exhales. "The caterer wants our final menu in two days. Shit. Can't we just have ribs and beer?"

Santana sits down next to him and motions for him to turn off the game console. He quickly clicks it off then lifts her on his lap.

"We're getting married at my father's country club so we can have my priest and your rabbi officiate," she reminds him. "I really don't think the club really does that sort of catering."

He rolls his eyes and pretends to sip from a teacup with his pinkies up. She tells him he's being a douche, so he needs to apologize. He kisses her neck in the right spot to do exactly that. Her following moans let her know that his apology had been accepted.

"He just wants to give me the wedding I dreamed of as a little girl," she whispers. "Of course, now that I'm grown up I don't know if that's what I still want. Right now, Puck, I do know I want a wedding with you and me and then a party with all our friends. I don't want some society page affair, too complicated."

"And so we'll give you what you want," he answered. "Do you think Father Michael or Rabbi Aronson will be too pissed? I mean, we can still pay them and shit, y'know for their trouble."

His phone rings and it's his little sister Chaya, so he picks up. She says their mom is in the hospital but he can't understand why because she's blubbering and the only word he can think is _FUCK._

He lets Santana drive because his brain isn't working terribly well. It's obvious from the way her lip is being chewed that she's trying to think of anything to say to him that doesn't sound like complete shit but she can't. She just holds his hand, that's enough for him.

After what seems like forever, they've found his mother's room and his sniffling, tear stained sister. Chaya rushes over to hug him tightly. She brokenly explains that their mother had a heart attack in the middle of her shift in the ER.

The three of them sit in chairs by the sleeping woman's beside. He holds Santana's and Chaya's hands because he needs the contact to calm and ground him. They sit there in silence for a while until some quiet whispers are heard next to them.

His mother isn't released from the hospital until a few days before the wedding. Santana spent a lot of time calling all their guests to let them know that the ceremony has been canceled but the reception is still a go.

Santana sits on his lap, lays her head on his shoulder and sighs. Both of them are very much ready for their honeymoon in Hawaii and all the relaxing that entails. It's been rough without his mother's help, but everything has gotten done, so they're beyond tired. Santana has been feeling it the worst. Her workload at the firm has been double since her promotion and she's been like a zombie lately. He made her make an appointment to get checked out just in case it's the flu Rachel's little boy just got over.

"So what did the doc say?" he asks. "Did you catch some cooties from Jakob when we babysat?"

She shakes her head, "Nope. This time it's your fault." she murmurs. "I totally blame you."

"What?" he retorts. "I haven't been sick in a long time! How can you feeling like shit be my fault? We both decided that we wanted to go ahead with the wedding, so why is it my fault?"

She takes his hand and places it over her abdomen with a grin on her face. It takes him a minute to realize what she's saying. He kisses her until she finds it necessary to breathe again.

They decide to keep their good news to themselves for a while, so Santana is nervous as she stands in front of the judge at the courthouse. She's convinced that she's showing and everyone knows their secret. Puck isn't paying too much attention to her fussing. He is trying to remember what events and people brought him to this day - his wedding day. There are so many things in his life that have made him the man he his - good and bad. One constant throughout his life has been his mother's words: _"Noah, saying you're sorry is too easy. It has no soul or meaning because people say it every day and don't really mean it. When you mean it you apologize. Do you understand? Apologize."_

* * *

_**A/N2: This is almost the end of this ficlet. Quinn is the last chapter and then... Any suggestions?  
**_

_**Thank you for taking the time to read! Concrit, comments and reviews are happily accepted. PM me if you'd rather voice your opinion privately.**  
_


	13. Quinn

**Don't Say You're Sorry, Just Apologize - Quinn**

**Rating: T - Because Puck is a grown up and cusses because he can.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee but I do own all the CDs, the DVD and a WHMS hoodie I got on eBay**

**A/N: A very big thank you to knkykty who took the time to beta this even though her RL is crazybusy. I appreciate it!**

* * *

Quinn yells at her phone again, something about a bacon buffet and how it was mandatory at her wedding. He tries not to laugh, really tries, but it is so incredibly hilarious and he is currently rolling on the floor wiping tears from his eyes. She growls loudly at him before lobbing the first thing she could grab, a box of cereal.

"Damn it, Quinn!" he screeches. "Do not throw my Cap'n Crunch at me! That peanut butter flavor is a pain in the ass to find."

She screws up her face with a scowl as she flips him off. He knows he'll have to make up for his laughing and smartass remarks but it will totally be worth it.

A few minutes later she hangs up with an exasperated exhale and turns back to finish their earlier interrupted conversation.

"Your mother is going to kill me with all of her demands, Puck!" Quinn growls. "She's trying to tell me that the wedding has to be kosher. Why does it have to be kosher? It's not like you are."

He grabs her arm and sits her on his lap. "Babe," he purrs. "It's our wedding and we're paying for it so she doesn't have a say in it. If you want a BLT bar then you'll get it."

The whole thing starts the minute his mother finds out that he wants to propose to Quinn and her wedding planning begins. By the time he actually puts his great-grandmother's ring on his girlfriend's finger his mother picks out his tux and orders it. He knows that he is utterly screwed from that point on. As much as he loves the woman who raised him, she is driving him out of his mind with all her micromanaging. His main concern is that Quinn is about four seconds from burning shit by sheer brain power so he knows he needs to do something.

Quinn kisses his jaw as she runs her fingers through his mohawk. "Then you need to call your mother and tell her to keep her goddamn opinions to herself," she murmurs. "I'd really like our future children to have a Jewish grandmother. It would be a pity if she went missing."

He nearly chokes because he's laughing so hard. There is something unbelievably fucking hot about his girl whispering threatening words into his ear. He doesn't know why and that's just fine.

He calls his mother to let her know she can make any decision she wants about his wedding. He pauses for a few minutes while she rambles on about all the shit she wants to change and how she knew he would come around eventually to her way of thinking. Of course he has to let her have her little dream for a brief moment before he douses it in gasoline watches it explode into little pieces.

"You can have your say over whatever you pay for," he says. He knows she heard him and he's damn sure she got the message he's sending out. He's done with her trying to run his show. As a kid she always made it abundantly clear that she was the one in charge since his father took off. The phrase "When you pay the bills you can do whatever you want" was thrown around every time she thought he or Chaya were being ungrateful. It's about fucking time he could return the favor!

"But you and Quinn are paying for it!" she splutters. "You know with your sister in college I can't afford to help pay for a wedding on my salary!"

Quinn is sitting on the couch across the room from him with her jaw on the floor. She can't believe that he's actually found his balls and stood up to his mother. It's a pretty big turn on and she thinks she'll find a way to thank him after he hangs up the phone.

"Ma!" he fires back. "Quinn and I are the ones who sign the checks and the ones who make the decisions. Got it? We are both well over twenty-one, make plenty of money to support ourselves ,and currently have no dependents. Just like you always said, Ma. Now it's my turn to call the shots because I got the bucks to back it up."

"But Noah!" she pleads. "You two can't just plan everything! You'll forget something and your wedding won't be perfect."

He rolls his eyes and exhales loudly. His mother has been so focused on making his life and Chaya's life as normal a possible that she forgets it's okay to have a flawed experience still be fantastic.

"Ma," he sighs. "It doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect for me. 'Kay? Shit. If I want flawless I buy a diamond."

Quinn stares at the ring on her finger with the dopiest grin he's ever seen. It just shows him that she's the one. There isn't another person on the planet that could make him feel so much from just a look, a phrase, or a gesture. Nobody.

He hears his mother get choked up and his little sister laughing her ass off in the background. It takes her a minute or two to say something back but he's not worried. It's obvious that she's gone a good job raising him as well as Chaya and he just waited a long time to let her know.

"Noah," she croaks. "I love you and I apologize. I should have known better than to try to run your and Quinn's special day. Do you forgive me?"

"Ma, I think you know the answer to that question," he mutters. "You raised my ass better than anyone else could. You put up with my shit and loved me even when I hated everyone."

He hears his mother as she sniffles a few more times and yells at Chaya for laughing at her; things are back to normal.

Quinn sidles up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist. She kisses the sensitive spot under his ear and he shudders.

"S'okay Ma," he chuckles. "I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow."

He spends the rest of the day in bed with Quinn and does his best to make up for his mother stressing her out. She tells him that they need to fight with his mother more often.

* * *

Between the two of them they get the whole thing organized in the nick of time. The cake, food, flowers and everything else are exactly the way they want them. They get their marriage license taken care of and Quinn gets the paper work for her name change. He teases her because she's going to hyphenate and he says that her signature is going to be taller than she is.

"Still not funny!" she laughs. "Regardless of the fact that my dad is still a jerk, I'm still rather attached to the name."

"But Puckerman is such a strong name!" he needles. "Don't you want our future children to have a badass name like Puckeman?"

She just winks at him. They finally found where Shelby and Beth were living when they got a call from their lawyer requesting medical histories. A few panicked hours later it was revealed that the little girl was starting kindergarten and the paperwork they had filled out years ago had gone missing. Ever since then they had been videochatting with her regularly and had been asked when she would be a big sister. All three adults had to take a few minutes to collect themselves after that.

"How about we work on a honeymoon baby?" he teases as he bats his eyes. "C'mon. You said we had to wait until after we were married and were financially stable. Even Schue and Pillsbury have a kid now!"

"How about I let you know that I went off birth control about a month ago?" she murmurs. Quinn knows that he's been dropping hints for a while now. He doesn't pressure her but she knows, she knows.

* * *

The big day arrives and he's standing at the courthouse, waiting for his fiancee. Santana and Brittany's late night visit with their buddies Jack, Jose and the Captain had been terribly unexpected so now Quinn is running late. He doesn't mind, it's one of those rare moments when Noah Puckerman has time to think. He is trying to remember what events and people brought him to this day - his wedding day. There are so many things in his life that have made him the man he his - good and bad. One constant throughout his life has been his mother's words: _"Noah, saying you're sorry is too easy. It has no soul or meaning because people say it every day and don't really mean it. When you mean it you apologize. Do you understand? Apologize."_

* * *

**_A/N: I cannot believe that I finally finished this! I have some ideas for potential spinoffs but I'd like to get some of my other fics done first. I hope you enjoyed the ride because I certainly did!  
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